LOVELY

I read an article on vegout by daniel moran about lovely people, it made me afraid to stay lovely. the article claims lovely people grow to be the loneliest, having nobody to call on a tuesday night. lovely people have hundreds of friends yet feel alone. as i kept READING, i grew concerned for my future, after all nobody wants to be alone. Lovely people do not let themselves be SEEN, THEY always say it’s ok when something is wrong. Lovely people learned early that being easy kept them safe. lovely people do not make demands or have uncomfortable CONVERSATIONS. Lovely people are liked but never seen. the article described my relationships with people, how they evaporate when i am no longer in proximity because i pretend i am always strong and happy, a realization that i hide ugly parts of me but ive been through enough to know i am made of both good and bad. I had never been so determined to change. The article advises TAKING small steps when trying to become more than lovely, suggesting it will feel wrong at first, which i admit it does. The article reminded me close friendships have more value than warm acquaintances, it warns us not everyone will stay, but those who do are worth the risk.

Psychology says intimacy grows with vulnerability but vulnerabilty DEPENDS ON reciprocity. im not sure why we find it difficult to open up to others that keep to themselves. To be seen we must be willing to feel discomfort, to admit we need someone rather than pretending we do nOT. We must be willing to show the ugly parts of us because what’s the reward in being liked for who we are not. it is not as simple as it sounds, to become more like who i’d like to be, but i won’t give up. i try expressing myself at times but the words just dont come out so i write instead. its a sad thing how lovely people are taught to hide, but we can learn to be seen. moran warns us LOVELY IS NOT OUR FRIEND, IT KEEPS US LONELY. I HOPE YOU LET YOURSELF BE SEEN AND THAT IN THIS LIFE YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO CALL ON A TUESDAY NIGHt.