@whoisthatbtalkingto

Brenda Cruz Gomez posted a video of me after I asked her not to. Not only did it make me feel ugly, I wanted no strings or names attached to me. I had lost my inner voice through the shouting people do so I distanced myself from people and places that dont align with me, I apologize if the shoe fits. I didn’t recognize who I was becoming. The first time I asked Brenda not to post me, she threw a tantrum and apologized the next day. Weeks later she insisted to post because she liked how her body looked. I gave her examples of how people don’t align with me. I held back at first but I wanted her to understand me. I knew how important Brendas influential career is to her and I wondered, was I a bad friend? for asking her not to post a video of me I wanted no one to see? Being around the wrong people helps you forget BOUNDARIES are respected, with or without explanations. it doesn’t make it right, that I criticized others, to convince someone of respecting my decision. People really do rub off on you, from their low energy to their poor thinking.

Brenda posted me anyways and when I asked to take me down, she refused, saying she’s dedicated to her work. The funny thing is, no matter what kind of work we do; we need people to get where we want. When you want to influence others and build connections, your behavior should be mindful, especially in a town this small. Carnegie advised the strongest interactions are about empathy and respect for boundaries. Wittgenstein emphasized words create the strongest connections because words give ability to set limitations, but he urged people to recognize clarity in boundaries, between talking and demonstrating. The irony of this story inspired me to write. Brendas video is about community. Community is helping our neighbors even when it doesn’t benefit our image. And what’s worse? Betraying your identity? or accepting those who betray theirs because you do too? How can people talk about community when they don’t value relationships? relationships should be more meaningful than portraying an image. Our reputation is worth more than a post because it builds with time. Brenda shows how people disregard connections to feel momentarily accomplished. Keeping someone on your feed when they wish not to associate with you is kind of embarrassing. Connections are about authenticity, not how many people you know. Harvard’s longest study on human development, predicts those with loving relationships reach their highest potential. Since early evolution, we formed relationships, suggesting love within communities is essential for our existence. I hope Brenda grows up to appreciate those who believe in her, may she receive all the views and likes she works hard for.