Brenda Cruz Gomez posted a video of me when I asked her not to. Not only did it make me feel ugly, I wanted no strings or names attached to me. I had lost my inner voice through the shouting people do. I distanced myself from people and places that don’t align with me, I apologize if the shoe fits. I didn’t recognize who I was becoming. Brenda didn’t care much besides how cute she looked. The first time I asked Brenda not to post me, she threw a tantrum and apologized the next day. Weeks later she insisted to post, so I gave her examples of how the actions of others don’t align with me. I held back at first, but Brendas influential career is important to her, I wanted her to understand me. Being around the wrong people helps forget your value. I forgot decisions are respected, without explanations, it doesn’t make it right, that I criticized the actions of others, to convince someone of respecting mine.
She posted me anyways and when I asked to take me down, she refused, saying she’s dedicated to work. The funny thing is, no matter what kind of work we do; we need people to get where we want. When you want to influence others and build connections, your behavior should be mindful especially in this small town. Dale Carnegie advised the strongest interactions are about empathy and respect for boundaries. Ludwig Wittgenstein emphasized the power of words create the strongest connections because words give ability to set limitations. However, people should recognize clarity in boundaries, between talking and demonstrating. The irony of this story is what inspired me to write. The video Brenda posted is about community and culture. Community is helping our neighbors even when it doesn’t benefit our image. And what’s worse? Betraying your identity? or accepting those who betray their identity because you do too? How can people talk about community when they don’t value relationships? My relationships with creative women are more meaningful than made up identities and my reputation is worth more than a post, because it builds with time. Brenda shows how people disregard connections to feel momentarily accomplished. Keeping someone on your feed when they wish not to associate with you is kind of embarrassing. Connections are about authenticity, not how many people you know. Harvard’s longest study on human development, predicts those with loving relationships reach their highest potential. Since early evolution, we formed relationships, suggesting love within communities is essential for our existence. I hope Brenda grows up to appreciate those who believe in her, may she receive all the views and likes she works hard for.