@whoisthatbtalkingto

Brenda Cruz Gomez posted a video of me after I asked her not to, Not only did i ask her not to post me, I asked not to associate me with people who bend for a trump supporter in a nice car, with people who downplay black people because chicano culture is influenced from black culture. I didnt want to associate with people who donate to charities for an instagram post only to make fun of homeless people because i once was a homeless kid. I distanced myself from people who talk about their friends when drunk because thats when true feelings arise, from people that brag about what they do for others because acts of love come from the heart, not for recognition. i wanted no strings or names attached to me. I distanced myself from people and places not aligning with me. The first time I asked Brenda not to post me, she threw a tantrum and apologized the next day. Weeks later she insisted posting the video because she liked how her body looked so I gave her examples of how people didnt align with me. I held back at first but I wanted her to understand me. I knew how important Brendas influential career is to her and I wondered, was I a bad friend? for asking her not to post a video of me I wanted no one to see? i forgot BOUNDARIES should be respected, with or without explanations. it doesn’t make it right, that I criticized others, to convince someone of respecting my decision. People do rub on you, from their low energy to their poor thinking.

Brenda posted me anyways and when I asked to take me down, she refused, saying she’s dedicated to her work. The funny thing is, no matter what kind of work we do; we need people to get where we want. When you want to influence others and build connections, your behavior should be mindful, especially in a town this small. Carnegie advised the strongest interactions are about empathy and respect for boundaries. Wittgenstein emphasized words create the strongest connections because words give ability to set limitations, but he urged people to recognize clarity in boundaries, between talking and demonstrating. The irony of this story inspired me to write. Brendas video is about community. Community is helping our neighbors even when it doesn’t benefit our image. And what’s worse? Betraying your identity? or accepting those who betray theirs because you do too? How can people talk about community when they don’t value relationships? Our reputation and relationships are worth more than a post because they build with time. Brenda shows how people disregard connections to feel momentarily accomplished. Keeping someone on your feed when they wish not to associate with you is kind of embarrassing. Connections are about authenticity, not how many people you know. Harvard’s longest study on human development, predicts those with loving relationships reach their highest potential. Since early evolution, we formed relationships, suggesting love within communities is essential for our existence.

I hope Brenda receives all the views and likes she works hard for.